When I first launched my business, hustle culture was in full swing, and busyness was worn by the people around me as if it were a badge of honor. I wavered between wanting to move faster and work toward being rapidly successful and feeling completely overwhelmed and like I was moving at a snail's pace. I was a newly single mom, and I didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything I wanted to do - or thought I should be doing to grow.

Success seemed synonymous with reaching impressive financial milestones - like the 6 or 7 figure years that defined triumph in the world of online service-based businesses. Adding to that was my feelings of having something to prove to myself and the people in my life. I was going through a divorce and opening a business as a newly single mom in an era where so many women were launching their own empires online. I wasn’t even sure I wanted that, but it felt powerful, and I wanted to feel like I had control over some aspect of my life when so much else felt out of my hands. Looking back, I just wanted to be seen as competent and capable - like a force to be reckoned with. I didn't realize how much of my worth I was attaching to the success or failure of the business.

There was a pivotal moment when I realized that this frenetic pace was draining my joy instead of amplifying it. I watched the opening to a course that began live - a course run by people who seemed to perpetuate hustle culture at the time. An MC came on the screen to hype the audience and prepare us for the main speaker. He told us that if we were going to do this, we needed to promise to "play full out." It was a term I heard a lot in various ways.

Play full out.
Give it your all.
Go all in.

These terms that were meant to be inspiring just felt defeating.

I couldn't watch the course's opening because my kids just kept coming into the room, and then one of them needed me entirely, and I had to step away. It's hard to give your business your all when tiny living human beings also need "your all" on any given day. It's even more complicated when you're a solo parent. Throw in a global pandemic for a few years; it can feel nearly impossible.

As much as the idea of making a fortune in my business sounded pretty great, I learned that the frenetic pace I felt that kind of income required was draining my joy instead of amplifying it.

I remember yelling at the screen “I can’t play full out, I don’t have any energy left to give.”

I had been trying to run a full-time business on part-time hours, and to further complicate things, every day was "bring your kid to work day." I ended up staying up too late and even had my computer desk in my room, right by my bed, to squeeze in more work hours whenever possible.

The other downside is that your work suffers when you feel stressed and stretched. I learned this when I took on too much at once and had some tensions with clients in projects where I (still regret to this day) struggled to get deliverables on time - not something you want to be doing as a designer.

When the world stopped during the pandemic, I was a year and a half into my business and felt like I was spinning my wheels. Nearing burnout and wanting to throw in the towel, the defeat had also left me feeling that I was just an imposter - and while other online service-based businesses seemed to boom during that time, for me, everything came to a halt, which felt like proof that I wasn't the strong, capable, intelligent woman I hoped to be.

I was starting to think this was my reality. I just wasn’t made for business and I when the world reopened I would go back to work. Actually, having a job to go to, and a to-do list created by someone else sounded kinda nice.

Then, one morning in 2020, I was distracted myself from the world scrolling Facebook, and I hopped into an online in a business group. Front and center there was a question about Squarespace, the platform I typically use in my web design work. The question was about integrating email forms from MailChimp, and I decided to quickly make a video how-to and upload it to answer the question because it was just something I knew how to do.

Sometimes, we take our own skills and knowledge for granted. When you're in your business every day, some of the "simple" and "easy" things start to seem like things anyone can do, and you stop believing you have something to offer.

A dozen female service-based entrepreneurs responded that the video tutorial was beneficial.

My next design client ended up coming from that group.

It wasn't working extra hard or pushing myself at an unsustainable pace that got me that next client; it was just being authentically helpful to someone who asked a question I knew how to answer.

After embracing this new perspective, my business underwent a remarkable transformation. I began to approach every project with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication. I was fueled by the fact that the things I was good at were real, and they could authentically help other people in their own businesses.

When the woman who asked the question posted that she had gotten her email integration set up thanks to my help, I felt so good!

Being able to help her with that small task during that time of my life ended up doing much more for me than it likely did for her (though, I do hope she went on the build an awesome email list!) I regained the confidence I needed to keep going, and I knew I didn't have to work the way I had been working to succeed.

I made changes that allowed me to work slowly, steadily, and sustainably. I scheduled my work to under 16 hours a week to be present with the kids. I intentionally took time to learn about systems and automation to help my solopreneur business run more smoothly to avoid burnout.

By setting a sustainable pace, I was able to avoid burnout and connect better with my clients. They valued my consistent commitment and reliability, which helped build relationships based on trust and mutual respect.

Adopting a consistent and measured approach has granted me the precious gift of time. It has given me the opportunity to nurture my business, connect with my clients on a deeper level, and most importantly, cherish the moments that truly matter with my loved ones.

True success isn't solely about chasing monetary targets but about building a business that thrives steadily while aligning with the lifestyle that you actually want to be living.